I lost two weeks. To be perfectly honest, I was here, but our homeschool almost wasn't.
Week 7 was a planned week off for "teacher planning". With Furlough Dad in charge and lots of field trip ideas, the boys had an enriching "unschool" week and everyone was fine with that.
Week 8 was a total Sick Out. I was just miserable with a sinus/headcold/fever thing that made life miserable day and night. School was back "In", but I wasn't. I leaned heavily on Time4Learning.com and Brainpop and hot cider and prayed to feel better before we lost too much ground.
Week 9 was Halloween Week. If you have any child, this is a wasted week at any school with the adrenaline rush and candy-anticipation at full maximum. If you have a child on the autism spectrum...you have this multiplied by ...oh...a zillion? We had a very productive Monday and Tuesday with starting our Lincoln biography, another chapter in Science (one of the few subjects where we are right on schedule), Time4Learning and Halloween worksheets for math and language arts. However, our week deteriorated rapidly on Wednesday right after YMCA PE class...in direct correlation to the panic my oldest son started to have about not having a costume as "perfect" as the picture in his mind. So - school stopped and became "art class" until Halloween on Thursday night when the curtain rose on the wonderful costume for about an hour...until the rain started. Happily, my Big Guy was perfectly happy to stop short of a huge bag of candy in exchange for keeping his "awesome costume" (his term) intact, so in the end, it landed in the Win column of Halloweens. And Friday was post-adrenaline crash. Until mid-afternoon. This was when I realized we had family coming to stay for a weekend visit in SIX HOURS and the house was in shambles, so it became Crisis Cleaning Day. I guess I can count that as a Life Lessons class, but I was too tired to bother.
So - Week 10 started today and after a wonderful weekend with my sister-in-law here, I'm totally wiped out. Introvert Classic that I am, spending that much time entertaining ANYONE totally drains my battery, so today was just putting one foot in front of the other during school time. The boys did manage to finish all their work and we covered all our subjects, so in one way it was a success. But after weeks of sickness, holiday crazies and running around, I just don't have an ounce of energy to give to school. And I wonder how long I can do this. How many more years can I do this? Even for a healthy younger mom, this would be a challenge and it is days like this that I'm not sure I can do it.
But I do. I'll give myself until next summer to decide about next year. And I'll do that each year until I can't anymore. Because even this morning, I woke up from another nightmare about one of my boys being somewhere where I couldn't see them or get to them or help them...the way I felt when my boys were drowning in their old school and all my efforts didn't work. So, until I feel safe I can't let them go...even if it is harder than I ever thought it would be.
I may be lost, but at least I know I'm not traveling in the wrong direction...:)
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